Friday, August 10, 2012

The Way You Say It Is More Important Than The Words

File:Mona Lisa face 800x800px.jpg  anger irritability BPD borderline personality irritability self hate hatred  irrational intense rage throwing screaming relaxation distract management half smile DBT dialectical behavior therapy How to communicate effectively:  
1 Gentle eye contact- it increases trustworthiness and encourages future cooperation, a happy gaze will increase emotional trust.

 2.Kind facial expression.If you think about someone you love,or an event that brought you deep joy & satisfaction, a "Mona Lisa" smile will appear on your face & the muscles around your eyes will soften.

 3.Warm tone of voice-slow down and drop your pitch to convey more trust to others.When expressing joy,your voice needs to become increasingly melodic, whereas sadness is spoken with a flat and monotonic voice.  When we are angry, excited, or frightened, we raise the pitch and intensity of our voice, and there’s a
lot of variability in both the speed and the tone.

File:Be Kind.png 4.Expressive hand and body gestures-they help your brain understand what is being said if they go together,if they don't fit together you will just make the person confused.So practice describing words in front of the mirror.

File:Mari Iijima at Tekkoshocon 5 talking cropped 1.jpg 5 Relaxed attitude
a one-minute relaxation exercise will increase activity in those parts of the brain that control language, communication, social awareness, mood-regulation, and decision-making.A relaxed conversation allows for increased intimacy and empathy. Stress, however, causes us to talk too much because it hinders our ability to speak with clarity.

 6.Slow speech rate
  Slower speaking will also deepen that person’s respect for you. A slow voice has a calming effect on a person who is feeling anxious, whereas a loud fast voice will stimulate excitement, anger, or fear.

 7.Brevity-keep it short so that it is easier to remember,follow and understand.The listener's brain can only remember about 10seconds of what you said.

 8.The words themselves.
Written communication can often be misunderstood and unless the writer fills in the blanks with specific emotional words and descriptive speech – storytelling – the reader will experience your writing as being flat, boring, dry, and probably more negative than you intended.
The solution: help the reader “paint a picture” in their mind with your words. Use concrete nouns and action verbs because they are easier for the reader’s brain to visualize. Words like “sunset” or “eat” are easy to see in the mind's eye, but words like “freedom” or “identify” force the brain to sort through too many conceptual frameworks.

File:20090211 thousand words-01.jpg
  • Have a "Mona Lisa" smile and smile with your eyes
  • Slow down and drop your pitch to appear more sympathetic & trusting
  • When expressing sadness a monotone,flat voice is best
  • For expressing joy & excitement a melodic slightly high pitched voice is best
  • Use your hands and body to describe what you mean,to be understood better
  • Relax before & during a conversation to increase intimacy,clarity & empathy
  • Speak slowly and briefly
  • Paint a picture with words when communicating by writing


Mari_Iijima_at_Tekkoshocon_5_talking.jpg: Chris Giddings from Cincinnati, OH, United States of America
All pictures from Wikimedia Commons

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