Bad Coping Skills

Note : In certain situations it is best to call the emergency services in your country, if this is one of those emergency situations,take a few deep breaths,call them and try to explain the situation as calmly as possible.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Otherwise,hopefully you will find the following tips helpful.

First you need to be willing to identify & change your coping reactions to healthier ones,I know its frightening giving up your safety blanket of things that work for you but they probably have long-term consequences.


Get a piece of paper or a Word Document open to answer some questions about yourself.
Feel free to add your own information,I can't write up all possible answers,the examples are to get you thinking!

How do you cope when faced with stressful situations & what are the negative consequences of these coping mechanisms ?

• You isolate yourself to avoid possible pain.Avoid pleasant social activities,physical exercise.

- You spend more time alone,feel more depressed,get more clingy when you socialize again

• You self-harm (cutting,pulling out hair,damage skin,burning,mutilation...)

- Infections,hospital bills,shame because of scars,self-hatred due to regret,possible death,physical pain making you irritable.Can re-enforce self-hate.Infections in severe cases can result in amputation.

• You ruminate about negative experiences & worry about negative things that could happen in the future

You are missing out on the good things happening in the present,wasting time as you are not fully focused on what you're doing.

• You use alcohol or drugs to numb feelings.

Addictions which can lead to work & financial problems,relationship,legal & health problems.

• You make suicide attempts or life-threatening choices

Hospitalization,possible death,depression,long-term medical conditions (such as paralysis due to unsuccessful gassing) ,embarrassment,regret...

• You take part in unsafe sex (unprotected/frequent sex with strangers)

STDs,unwanted pregnancy,shame,embarrassment

• Eating-too much or too little(restriction),throwing up...

Weight gain/loss,anorexia,bulimia & the health problems associated with them(bad teeth,nutritional deficiencies...) hospitalization,shame.

• You take out your negative emotions out on others

Loss of relationships(family,friends,romantic,colleagues) ,loneliness & depression,people avoiding you,regret,legal consequences.

• You avoid dealing with your problems,surrendering to the pain and living an unfulfilled life

Pain,distress,depression,don't get your needs met,put up with destructive relationships & get burnt out for helping others too much,regrets about your life.
                                                      

Hopefully now you have a better idea why you should look at alternative coping mechanisms.

Some healthy coping mechanisms can be found in this post Crisis Skills